Quirky Talksss...

Why are these even taboos?

We all know that taboos about various social issues are prevalent in the society. Most of us hesitate to speak about such topics and there is no logical or valid reason for this but just for the sake of being a member of the orthodox society. So, today, I’m going to talk about 4 major taboos or stigmas

• Mental health

WHO defines health as “a state of complete physical, ‘mental’ and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”
It is high time that all of us understand the significance of mental health in our lives. It is of utmost importance so much so that everything that happens in our lives – be it good or bad, ensues from our mental state and our thinking. The maxim, “a healthy body requires a healthy mind” is indeed true. We need to become accountable for our own mental health just like we are concerned about our bodily or physical health. If we aren’t mentally healthy, we are susceptible not only to mental disorders but also to physical health issues or diseases. This was quite evident in the pandemic phase. Due to the overrated apprehensions and fear, some people themselves got infected with the virus whilst overdoing everything to save themselves.
So, therefore, we all should take into account our mental health and build a healthy life for ourselves.

• Menstruation

This is a question for all the girls out there – don’t you feel a bit uncomfortable while talking about periods in front of boys?
Well, most of us do. It is a matter of shame not for us but for the society which suppresses this common biological process. We feel uncomfortable because we are groomed not to talk about menstrual cycle with anyone except mothers and girl friends. Not being verbal about periods isn’t a natural instinct but rather a product of years of inaccurate knowledge imparted to the girls.
A few days ago, I was scrolling through YouTube shorts when I came across this one video where in a celebrity revealed that her father didn’t even know what menstruation is until when he got married. This highlights the lack of awareness amongst the people. It is obvious that if we don’t break silence on menstruation, people won’t get to know. This is not beneficial not only because men can’t support women if they don’t know their hassles but also because girls themselves don’t get adequate information about menstrual cycle. This is the reason why there are hundreds of myths revolving around this topic.
In India, menstruation is not only stigmatized but also taken in a very wrong sense. Girls here aren’t allowed to pray to God and visit holy places during their periods because according to people, they are toxifying the sanity of God and religious buildings. This is just one example but, in many ways, the girls are subjected to extreme mental torture regarding periods.
Hence, I implore you all to express yourself on this topic.

• Sexual orientation and behavior

Through the lens of the societal standards, a girl can only marry a boy and vice-versa. Similarly, a girl is supposed to be feminine in her approach and a boy is supposed to show his masculinity regardless of his/her choice.
Here comes another social stigma of engaging into a relationship with an unidealistic partner (based on sex) and choosing one’s own gender that is repressed and curbed because it is against the grain of the conventional norms of the society.
Though LGBT rights are being granted in many countries lately, but sole institutional reforms aren’t helping. People are still unable to verbally confess and talk about this topic in a social setting.
This again calls for awareness drives because many people aren’t acquainted with the whole concept of LGBT. Moreover, people don’t even know the basic difference between sex and gender. Just to replace the word ‘sex’, gender is often used synonymously but they aren’t the same. Sex is the biological orientation with which we are born whereas, gender is the social orientation which we voluntarily choose to live with and to be identified with.
Even I came to know a little while ago and was astounded to realize the lengths to which people can go to suppress the word ‘sex’.
This insufficient amount of information regarding sexual orientation is detrimental as people aren’t ready to accept the concept of choosing one’s own gender.

• Divorce

Last but not the least, divorce is also a taboo. It is engraved in the societal mindsets that if 2 people are legally married, they are bound to live together all their lives even if the relationship fails to work. People validate this ideology over individual happiness and sentiments. If someone wants to separate from his/her spouse, people don’t usually advocate their decision even if there are severe complexities in the marriage. The divorcees are outcaste from the society in a way, especially females, as this topic is publicly decried.
However, it is necessary that we understand that divorce isn’t a misdeed. It is just an atonement for a mistake. The person undergoing through divorce is already mentally suffering and on top of it, the people keep denouncing that person. Life doesn’t end after a divorce. One has a chance to push the restart button of life.
These were some of the taboos about which I’ve felt the need to discuss. If you think of any more, let me know! I’ll make a part 2 of this series.

Disclaimer: These are solely my personal views and perceptions and I gladly embrace the difference in the approaches we might have. Also, the suggestions that I give are also subjective and I don’t intend to dictate anyone. Kindly don’t mind the errors if any. Not an expert in English. Thanks for reading!😊

Book Review: Teenage Tomorrow

Hey all! How are you doing? Are you an avid book reader? I am and am not at the same time because I love reading but I have the habit of reading during certain time periods and not regularly. So just recently, a wave of inspiration struck me and I finished reading my friend’s book,”Teenage Tomorrow”. So, I’d like to give a review on it.

The book ,”Teenage Tomorrow” is an elaborated account on teenage life. The author, a teenager herself, takes the readers through different phases of adolescence. It highlights the adversities faced by teenagers which are often overlooked or suppressed. Common teenage struggles including drastic transformation, mood swings, drug abuse, delinquency, depression, anxiety are also highlighted. At the same time, this book is also a ‘self-help’ book for teenagers as the author imparts her personal tips on changing teenage mind set and habits. My most favourite chapters from this book are ‘Depression’ and ‘Thinking’: the former one, as the author reveals the hard core reality of contemporary teenagers through statistical facts. This unit also talks about mental morbidity. The latter, because it brings out a stark antithesis between positive and negative thoughts.

This book not only urges the teenagers to improve their thinking and lifestyle but also requests their near and dear ones to be supportive and be emotionally available for them.

In a nutshell, it is a superb non fiction. So, I recommend you to give this book a read.

Link to buy the book: https://www.amazon.in/dp/9391010342/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_QSRQMADFMZJTK0D0GSR0

Quote of the day

How important ability to express is?

I have been MIA since the past 2 months and I’m super guilty about it. It’s just that I’m finding it really hard to readapt to offline schooling. But today, I felt that it is high time and this is an impromptu and a very brief post.

So, diving into today’s topic, we all have diverse perceptions regarding multifarious aspects and areas. At some point, we do feel the urge to do what seems right to us and to debunk the conventional norms of the society. There may be many instances in our lives where we don’t wish to comply with the already existing notions of the society. For us to transgress the convictions, it is necessary to be able to use our voice in such a manner that we are able to put ourselves out there and express our opinions explicitly and articulately. It implies that we must have the skill of self-expression. On the surface, this seems like a piece of cake and something very mundane to inculcate as a skill. However, it is only then when we actually realize that we lack in it although we have a lot to say. I’m also able to understand its significance only after I’ve had a few recent experiences where in I have felt the lack of self-expression. I believe that its absence may lead to letting go of golden opportunities.

This ability is very crucial in almost all aspects of life, be it relationships, formal interviews, public discussions and debates. This gives us all the more reason to imbibe this and acquire it.

How can we really begin to express ourselves verbally? That is for all of us to brood over and answer. Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Things that impede you from loving yourself

The term ‘self-love’ is in vogue nowadays and is present almost in every self-help book and every other lifestyle YouTube video. The basic meaning is very explicit and each of us is trying to make self-love our priority. However, I have noticed some things that come in our way while practicing self-love. These, in their own way, demolish our love for ourselves. Thus, we need to catch hold of them and eradicate them.

Chasing perfection

Many of us aim to be flawless and immaculate. We become way too scrupulous and want everything to be perfect. However, in doing so, we often forget the motive and solely pin point our follies and mishaps. This leads to criticism and self-sabotage which are nowhere near adoring yourself for who you are. There is nothing wrong in improving yourself and learning from your mistakes but being harsh on yourself is a big no. We should strive for excellence rather than perfection.

Comparison

Comparison is the greatest evil. It is redundant and damaging. When you compare yourself to others, you don’t even know if you are comparing yourself with their authentic version or the superficial version that they show in front of people. And when you really do, you try to become the other person and forget yourself in this process. Feelings of low self-esteem, worthlessness and shamefulness start to persist. Again, you would fail to practise self-love.

Being dishonest

We all tend to lie to ourselves a lot of times due to various reasons. Sometimes, the lies are so subtle that we overlook them and the drill never ends. A part of us knows what the truth is but we aren’t ready to come to terms with it. We also know at the back of the mind that we are not being completely honest to ourselves but still the heart does what it does! Okay, this got a bit sentimental lol! But all I am trying to say is lying is not advantageous to us in the long run. Keeping this in mind, I have been trying not to cheat myself and to acknowledge and accept my weak points.

Labelling self-care and self-love as selfish

All of us believe or are made to believe that thinking about yourself at necessary stages, prioritizing yourself, taking frequent breaks, pampering yourself etc. is self-centered approach. Instead of getting praised, we get backlashed. But I think it is healthy to set boundaries, to love yourself to the fullest, to accept yourself without any shame and to be your own fan to a certain limit.

Complying forcibly

There are times when we are succumbed to trade our virtues for people we care about. We low-key disagree with a lot of conventions and norms but it is hard to open up and vent out our own perceptions. It is because since the very beginning we are groomed in such a way that we are bound to assent with each and every thing and to satisfy others. So, we tend to give in and be submissive and yielding. We relent to stand out and speak up for ourselves. But in this process, we lose ourselves and if we are completely vanished, then who would we love? That is why, I aspire to be an unbending and transgressive non-conformist. Moreover I feel that we all should encourage each other to love our respective selves and embrace ourselves as who we are.

Do you think there are other things too that act as hindrances on our path of loving ourselves? Let me know in the comments!

How to become a morning person?

Hmm… struggling to wake up early to watch the sunrise? To increase the length of your day maybe? Whatsoever the reason to be an early bird is but developing this habit isn’t a cakewalk. It requires consistency, firm will and a plethora of patience. However, it must be kept in mind that this isn’t a compulsion. If you’re nocturnal and feel more productive during the nights and also your work setting allows you to work at nights, you needn’t adopt the morning routine if you don’t really want to. But if you do want to, here are a few suggestions from my side. I am giving you a few tips based on my experience.( I am naturally a night owl but I have to wake up early because school and other stuff don’t permit me to pull all-nighters. But now I have actually begun cherishing the morning time more.)

As the adage goes, “Early to bed, early to rise”, hit the hay earlier than you usually do for starters. While trying to get up early, don’t compromise on your sleep, done that been there….lol! Take my word for it, disruption in sleep cycle will wreak havoc in your life. So don’t even think about taking a chance with that.

Take baby steps. Try starting your day half an hour earlier or 15 minutes earlier. Let’s say you wake up at 12, so you start waking up at 11:30. Keep doing it until you become adept in waking up at the targeted time. Then slowly and gradually shift the time to 11:15 am and then to 11:00 am. These small changes over a bout of time would help you to wake up earlier.

In this process, acknowledge that you are making efforts to modify a crucial part of your life: your waking up time and thus, it would consume time as it is a slow process. Even when our sleeping patterns change from when we were new borns to when we were toddlers it is a gradual process. So, don’t keep unrealistic expectations.

The extent of primitiveness and insanity in this country!! Part 2

Hi all! I am back with the second part of this topic. If you want to check out the 1st part, click here on the link: https://quirkytalksss.art.blog/2022/06/18/the-extent-of-primitiveness-and-insanity-in-this-country-part-1/

Criticism

Criticism is ubiquitous but there is surfeit of it in India. People are criticized not only for huge degenerate acts but also for the minutest of things like doing something which isn’t usual in the eyes of the society or wearing a bold or uncanny outfit or doing something which shouldn’t be done by the person of a specific gender according to the society. There is intricate scrutiny and condemnation and even denunciation. In fact, most of the Indian small talks are based around censure of people doing whatever conservatives don’t expect. It is as if what they believe in is absolutely correct and everyone is bound to follow the same. If someone is in low spirits, then people gossip about him/her and use a particular phrase which if I translate is that that person’s face is swelled which implies that they are unhappy and these orthodox people don’t even allow people to feel anything except happiness. Speaking of happiness, people aren’t even satisfied when others are happy, rather they get jealous and want to have what they have and feel what they feel and then they start calling names to the happy people to hide their envy.

At times, when people have to condemn directly to someone, they do it very diplomatically in a way that they utter what they have to and the other person doesn’t completely realize the element of criticism hidden. In such times, God knows how I control myself but all I want to do is to hit them hard😉.

Hypocrisy

Oh my!! Hypocrisy is at the next level in this country. People, particularly relatives and neighbors, are so diplomatic and they love to sugar coat almost everything. Even when they compliment, it seems so fake. However, once they are done meeting their fellow acquaintances, they are the exact opposites, they start spilling their beans and later stab them in the back when those whom they showered with flattery are in need. They make fake promises to stand beside their fellow neighbors and relatives at all times, bitter and sweet but they all leave in lurch. Another aspect that I wish should come into light under this sub topic is that people boast about how “modern and open-minded” they are when they actually aren’t, they are some of the most conservative people you would ever know and if you confront them about the same highlighting an incident that manifested forced compliance and classicism on their part, they counteract by giving excuses for their childish follies. Sometimes, it is pretty hilarious to see adults doing all this for absolutely nothing. However, at times, I feel vexed too looking at how double-faced people are and they are prompting others also to do the same. I wrote about Hypocrisy in detail some months ago the link for which is below:

Heights of Hypocrisy

Excessive communalism

On one hand, there is diversity in India and all religions are treated equally whereas, on the other hand, some people are very stringent about following and respecting only their own religion. In certain places, especially backward villages, it is so big an issue that people aren’t even allowed to talk to people following another religion. This is limited only in a few places but in general too, most of the Indians don’t prefer to make new relations with people of different religions.

Prevalence of myths

Myths are omnipresent but due to lack of awareness and cognitive development of Indians, they are more in number in India. At times these irrational myths and superstitions really get on my nerves. A very common Indian superstition is that people usually relent to cross the road if a black cat crosses their path because it is considered as a sign of bad luck. Another instance of Indian society’s mythological mindset is that if a girl is menstruating, she is perceived as impure and unhygienic which is outrageously absurd and which showcases how bigoted the mentality of Indians is! There are zillions of myths like these but they can only be rooted out once the Indians realize they are living a delusional life and they need to change their way of living contributing to development at a large scale.

Hope this gives you a bit of an insight into the reality of “vibrant and diverse” Indian society and if you are already from India, you would be able to resonate with this.

Meet you next week:)

Kindly don’t mind the errors if any. Not an expert in English. Thanks for reading!

Appreciating and replenishing Mother Earth!!

In all the hustle and bustle, we hardly get time to celebrate the beauty and bounty of mother Earth because of which we are here. Our daily activities don’t involve worshipping it but rather contribute in their demolition. Not only industries and factories are the culprits but each one of us is responsible for environmental degradation. Whilst improving our own standards, we have deteriorated the grace of nature which in fact is the most precious wealth and is of the highest stature. So, let us start by praising the gift of God.

To be able to appreciate, we need to take out time. We need to add ‘Nature Time’ into our daily schedules. Only then would we be able to see what we tend to overlook and rather what we take for granted as if it would always be there. It would be then when we would gaze at the sky, the mountains, the natural water bodies, the trees in awe and just be wonderstruck. We would experience ineffable euphoria, a kind of ecstasy which you would never want to end . You would be overcome with fascination at the glorious sight of the nature once you take note of it. Once you notice and observe the natural beauty around you, you would be in a position to appreciate and laud it.

Now how do we replenish Mother Earth? To relinquish the natural gems, we need to be mindful of our day-to-day activities. Below are some of the things I do and I aspire to do as a part of my contribution:

Starting from the start of my day, I close the tap when I’m brushing my teeth and open it only when I need it. Then I don’t use the shower for taking a bath, I usually use it once a week when I have to wash my hair. (yes, I wash my hair only once, it is a cumbersome job!)

Then whenever I go outside, I try my level best not to dispose off anything in open and instead I try to find garbage bins or wait till I reach home.

Adding to this, I keep roaming around my house switching off all the lights and fans when not needed and I also tend to be very stringent and particular about it, I get upset when someone forgets to turn them off even when it’s me lol!

Also, I put my best foot forward not to waste anything: be it food, water, power, paper or anything for that matter.

This is absolutely nothing that I do but I want to do more like watering plants, banishing all kinds of plastics from my house, donating for water treatment or any environment-friendly project etc.

I just wanted to share this so that you too get inspired and become aware that restoring nature starts at home and these small tasks don’t even require much time or any money.

Let us become responsible and mature enough to not let our desires and raptures come in the way of our Earth. Let us respect and honor the natural habitat by preserving it!!

I would love to know your take on this topic. Comment down what you feel.

Kindly don’t mind the errors if any. Not an expert in English. Thanks for reading!

How to cultivate a positive mindset?

In our everyday lives, we all hear about positivity and how beneficial it is. A part of ourselves think that we are certainly very positive but unknowingly we tend to dwell more on the negative side. So, what is the absolute key to developing a positive mindset? Read ahead to find out.

Firstly and most obviously, sprinkle seeds of kindness. Show benevolence and humility unconditionally. Bend over backwards to help someone and if you do it, do it with all your heart. It is not only about helping someone but also about the way that you verbally interact with yourself and with others. It is essential to keep track of how you talk to yourself because unless you don’t love yourself you would never be able to evade negativity. Self-criticism evokes feelings of pessimism. With this comes the second requirement: self-love. It is integral to love yourself, appreciate yourself and accept your flaws. You would have a deeper attachment with yourself and would also be able to attract positivity. Added to this, witness and acknowledge negative thoughts, critically analyze them and question yourself if they are really productive or helpful. If not, then try to throw them off your brain as soon as possible. Another important thing that we must keep in mind is to focus more on what is going right rather than on what is not going your way. Maybe it is serendipity, it is meant to be that way because in the end, everything works out! Just give yourself a chance to feel optimistic and be calm and composed in a hard situation but it is easier said than done. Try to practice this every time you catch your mind absorbed in trivialities and you would eventually get adapted to it. Also, don’t keep assuming the worst case scenario. Sometimes, to be on a safer side, it helps. For example, while packing for a road trip, you somehow imagine the worst that you probably won’t find a good place to eat. So you pack some food for your trip and this is justifiably a good measure. However, assuming the worst every time won’t help, it would rather make you more pessimistic. Therefore, you should avoid where you feel it is not necessary. Next thing is that you must validate all the emotions that you feel, be it stress, loneliness, sadness, happiness, excitement etc. whatever that you are feeling, just keep reminding yourself that your emotions don’t define you and that they would fade away with time as they are temporary. This is a positive approach towards our emotions.

Lastly, in the urge of being more optimistic, don’t begin overlooking vital things. This may even lead to toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is a notion that no matter what happens, you must remain positive at all times even at the cost of sidelining your feelings and thus, it is intoxicating. It impedes you from feeling emotions and even using a rational approach when needed.

So, this was it for today! How else do you think we can develop a positive mindset? Type in the comment section.

I’ll meet you next week😊Till then, toodles!!

Kindly don’t mind the errors if any. Not an expert in English. Thanks for reading!

Habits that one must inculcate in one’s life

Hey! How have you been holding up lately? Do you think you’re living on edge or you need to redesign your routine again or modify it maybe? If yes, then these are some habits which you can add.

Exercise

First and foremost, physical workout should be a part of one’s daily routine. For a start, 5-7 minutes too is acceptable. The purpose is to just move and stretch your body to its full potential. Exercise has heaps of benefits about which I would be writing soon.

Journaling

It’s a great way not only to vent out your emotions and pour your heart out but also to attain clarity about how exactly you are feeling and what you desire. You must have read or heard about it a dozen times but once you do it you get to realize its true essence. You feel as if you have lifted a cumbersome bag of overflowing feelings off your shoulders.

Praying

Take out time to pray daily. Don’t only keep pleading for certain things to happen but also try to connect your soul to God by verbally voicing whatever you wish to say. It is because he is the only one who knows your authentic self. You will experience ineffable amount of tranquility and gratification.

Gaining knowledge

Make it a daily errand to learn something new. This can be achieved through a variety of mediums like reading some fun facts, watching an educational video, reading books or newspapers, listening to a podcast etc. This has its own set of benefits. (Click on this link to know about them: https://www.thegoodlifecentre.co.uk/10-reasons-to-learn-something-new-everyday/#:~:text=It%20helps%20us%20break%20out,things%20is%20possible%20and%20desirable.)

Meditation

I know this sounds very cliché but it actually helps if you start doing it even if you do it for 2-3 minutes everyday. You will notice a positive change in yourself. Medito is a free application that I use. It has distinct kinds of sessions even if you are a beginner.

These were some of the habits that I follow and I think are very beneficial. Let me know your habits that you would like everyone to adapt.

Meet you on Friday!!

Kindly don’t mind the errors if any. Not an expert in English. Thanks for reading!