The term ‘self-love’ is in vogue nowadays and is present almost in every self-help book and every other lifestyle YouTube video. The basic meaning is very explicit and each of us is trying to make self-love our priority. However, I have noticed some things that come in our way while practicing self-love. These, in their own way, demolish our love for ourselves. Thus, we need to catch hold of them and eradicate them.
Chasing perfection
Many of us aim to be flawless and immaculate. We become way too scrupulous and want everything to be perfect. However, in doing so, we often forget the motive and solely pin point our follies and mishaps. This leads to criticism and self-sabotage which are nowhere near adoring yourself for who you are. There is nothing wrong in improving yourself and learning from your mistakes but being harsh on yourself is a big no. We should strive for excellence rather than perfection.
Comparison
Comparison is the greatest evil. It is redundant and damaging. When you compare yourself to others, you don’t even know if you are comparing yourself with their authentic version or the superficial version that they show in front of people. And when you really do, you try to become the other person and forget yourself in this process. Feelings of low self-esteem, worthlessness and shamefulness start to persist. Again, you would fail to practise self-love.
Being dishonest
We all tend to lie to ourselves a lot of times due to various reasons. Sometimes, the lies are so subtle that we overlook them and the drill never ends. A part of us knows what the truth is but we aren’t ready to come to terms with it. We also know at the back of the mind that we are not being completely honest to ourselves but still the heart does what it does! Okay, this got a bit sentimental lol! But all I am trying to say is lying is not advantageous to us in the long run. Keeping this in mind, I have been trying not to cheat myself and to acknowledge and accept my weak points.
Labelling self-care and self-love as selfish
All of us believe or are made to believe that thinking about yourself at necessary stages, prioritizing yourself, taking frequent breaks, pampering yourself etc. is self-centered approach. Instead of getting praised, we get backlashed. But I think it is healthy to set boundaries, to love yourself to the fullest, to accept yourself without any shame and to be your own fan to a certain limit.
Complying forcibly
There are times when we are succumbed to trade our virtues for people we care about. We low-key disagree with a lot of conventions and norms but it is hard to open up and vent out our own perceptions. It is because since the very beginning we are groomed in such a way that we are bound to assent with each and every thing and to satisfy others. So, we tend to give in and be submissive and yielding. We relent to stand out and speak up for ourselves. But in this process, we lose ourselves and if we are completely vanished, then who would we love? That is why, I aspire to be an unbending and transgressive non-conformist. Moreover I feel that we all should encourage each other to love our respective selves and embrace ourselves as who we are.
Do you think there are other things too that act as hindrances on our path of loving ourselves? Let me know in the comments!
Disclaimer: These are solely my personal views and perceptions and I gladly embrace the difference in the approaches we might have. Also, the suggestions that I give are also subjective and I don’t intend to dictate anyone. Kindly don’t mind the errors if any. Not an expert in English. Thanks for reading!😊
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